A day at work

*To shine brightly requires burning*
I read this quote as I left the house of a 42 year old patient with cancer.  He has a wife, six young children, a degree in engineering.  He is a brilliant man, truly in relationship with something greater than himself.  But he is not ready to die.  He can only lay on his abdomen in the electric hospital bed due to tumor growth.  Weakness and pain prevent him from standing.  His bed is positioned so he can look out the window, watching life continue around him as his own slips away.  Cards, photos, inspirational verses and crayon artwork surround him.  His younger children play outside while the older ones help with chores and do homework. 
He is too tired today for a bath.  Just moving from side to side in bed is exhausting.  I remove the compression stockings from his pale thin legs.  Legs that once ran and climbed stairs no longer bear weight.  I wash his feet and massage them with lotion.  I think of Jesus washing the feet of the disciples.  I wonder who was more humbled?  I am the humbled one now.
I review his medications, spend time listening to his wife and affirm the care she provides, encourage the family to call the hospice 24hr # if any needs arise and plan to visit again later in the week.  As I walk to my car the man's two youngest children follow me.  A girl and a boy, maybe four and five years old.  They wave to me and say "thank you for coming to see my daddy today."
I drive away from their home with tears in my eyes, my heart is touched.  I am completely drained, unsure if I can make it home, dreading the paperwork that needs to be completed.  But more so I am thankful.  Thankful for my health, thankful for the ability to walk, thankful for fresh air and sunshine.  Thankful for the children's words.  Now I know why I got out of bed today.  I am so blessed to have this job.