Missing you

Dear Sweet Boy,

I was thinking about you today.  Like I do every day.  My heart feels heavier than usual today because of how much I miss you.  An acquaintance that I haven't seen in a few months asked about you the other day.  I didn't know what to say.  My eyes got watery.  I quickly changed the subject.  A friend's little boy, who is about your age, is building up quite a vocabulary.  I wonder what you are saying these days.  I would love to be able to teach you words, like car, hot, or kitty.  It would be fun to make animal sounds too.  I remember how much you used to smile when I made the sound of a horsey.  

You will experience your first Easter egg hunt this year.  I wonder what that will be like for you.  You will look adorable holding your basket, I know that for sure.  I try to imagine what you look like.  If I didn't have pictures, I'm afraid you would feel like a figment of my imagination.  Your Christmas picture is the last one I have of you.  It hangs on my refrigerator so I can see you everyday.  I have a special box and journal for you.  I hope one day I can give it to you.  So far, I have saved one of your burp cloths, a onesie you slept in at my house, your books, diaper pad, toys, even your little spoons.  I also put in the sippy cup you never used.  I bought that before you were even born.  I will probably add your Easter card to the box and all the pictures I have of you.

Sweet boy, know that Auntie Carli loves you more than you will ever realize. Even if you don't know who I am. 
xoxo