It's Tuesday. That means I must drive past your road to get to a patient's home. I didn't think about it until I was about a mile away. Then I started to cry. I thought about how different I would feel if I was on my way over to visit you, the excitement and contentment in just being able to see you, hold you. A visit would be the highlight of my day. I think about our family a lot on these snowy days. I think we would probably spend the day together. I miss those times.
Sometimes I'm afraid that I am forgetting you. Actually, I guess I can't forget what I never saw or experienced. It's not like when Nana died and I forgot the sound of her voice or her smell. With you, it feels even worse. You haven't stopped living. You are constantly learning and growing. I will never know what you are like today, on your 13 month birthday. Your Mommy and Daddy, Oma and Opa, even the day care people are part of your everyday life and get to see you change and grow. I would love so much to be one of them. I hope they know how lucky they are. I hope they cherish every single moment. I love you, little one. xoxo Auntie Carli
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